Session 004

01[21:09:48] <~nativejovian> It’s that time of the week again: you’re about to waste another perfect good three(ish) hours on SPELLJAMMER! fanfare
01[21:10:36] <~nativejovian> Last time, the party had a pleasant chat with their captive elf, who (eventually) gave them a whole lot of backstory! Or, well, worldbuilding. Which is like backstory for the setting! So now you know more things about stuff.
01[21:11:41] <~nativejovian> Oh, yeah, he also mentioned that the same saboteur team that tried to blow up the Whiteangel is also hitting their secondary target, the Lanikaula. Captain Mulue order you to make that Not Happen.
02[21:11:47] * Django_Kagato (Siggy@Nightstar-3aj.le0.207.108.IP) Quit (Connection closed)
01[21:12:48] <~nativejovian> You stopped by on your way out of the ship, and relayed the Captain’s orders to her XO, which were make ready for the Whiteangel to depart at all possible speed! Because there’s also an enemy ship out there, somewhere. Well, one presumes that the elves didn’t walk here, so that makes sense.
01[21:13:36] <~nativejovian> Party: you’re at the Whiteangel docks. The fire is out and people are movement at breakneck speed to ready the Whiteangel for departure. But you have other orders!
01[21:13:40] <~nativejovian> spotlight on party
[21:14:17] <guri> We’re going to save…another ship!
[21:14:20] <guri> Right?
[21:14:26] <guri> …right?
01[21:15:11] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Well, Kaonakala is like a giant ship that doesn’t move. So… yes?
[21:16:33] <guri> Close enough! Let’s go save it, anyway!
01[21:19:50] <~nativejovian> The party makes for the loading docks, where the Lanikaula meets Kaonakala. This is one of exactly four places you’ve actually been on Kaonakala (the others being the tavern, the ship, and the warehouse) so you actually sort of recognize where the hell you’re going!
02[21:21:07] * Guri recognizes!
01[21:30:48] <~nativejovian> Guri is capable of identifying familiar visual stimuli. Obviously he hasn’t been sampling his own product hard enough.
02[21:32:10] * Guri Guri looks forward to brewing his first…brew.
01[21:33:28] <~nativejovian> Does the party have a plan, or are they just going in like gangbusters?
[21:33:55] <guri> Why would we plan now; there’s no time for that nonsense!
[21:34:39] <konani> Not utilizing plans has been the key to our success, really.
[21:34:43] <konani> We’re master improvisers!
01[21:36:22] <~nativejovian> In that case, the party arrives at the Lanikaula loading dock. Perception checks!
01[21:40:35] <~nativejovian> The party notices nothing out of the ordinary. In other words: it’s quiet…. too quiet? You decide.
[21:41:32] <guri> Well, this is silly.
[21:41:38] <guri> No nefarious elves to greet us.
[21:43:18] <konani> It’s cheating when they cackle nefariously to give away their positions.
[21:43:24] <konani> they don’t.
01[21:43:49] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] They might be on the underside of Kaonakala. Would make sense, that way no one stumbles over them by accident.
[21:45:36] <guri> …The Underside?
[21:45:41] <guri> You have an up side and a down side?
01[21:46:56] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …they didn’t tell you about this? Oh, man, I gotta show you! It’s awesome!
[21:48:08] <konani> Awesome, you say? See, Roach, this is why you’re at the bottom of the totem pole.
[21:48:20] <konani> You always look in the most awesome place first for ne’er-do-wells.
[21:48:37] <guri> Ditto.
01[21:49:31] <~nativejovian> Roach is too busy hunting around for something to listen to your perfectly reasonable points. After a few minutes, he lets out an “aha!” and gestures with a flourish at what appears to be a manhole cover.
[21:50:10] <konani> This is auspicious!
[21:50:26] <guri> …not the adjective I was thinking of. But I suppose it’ll do.
[21:51:49] <konani> That’s because you’re being silly.
01[21:51:54] <~nativejovian> Roach undogs the hatch (okay, it’s not *exactly
like a manhole cover) and opens it, looking down through the hole with increasing excitement.
01[21:52:27] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Yes! They left the other side undone. Come look at this, guys.
[21:52:27] <guri> Do you always get excited when exploring new holes?
02[21:52:34] * Guri looks
[21:52:58] <konani> He’s certainly excited about exploring the Lieutenant’s holes.
01[21:53:05] <~nativejovian> Looking down through the hole reveals… the infinie depths of spaaaaaaace!
[21:53:31] <konani> I, on the other hand, because every adventurer worth his salt goes through the sewers at some point in their careers. It’s an important part of the Hero’s Journey!
01[21:53:47] <~nativejovian> No seriously. You seem to be looking at a hole that goes straight through Koanakala and out the other side. There’s an access ladder embedded in one side of the hole. Which, to be fair, is really more of a tube.
[21:54:32] <guri> That’s a little disconcerting.
01[21:54:35] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Alright guys, you ready? This is the awesome part. Watch!
01[21:54:56] <~nativejovian> Roach wastes no time in jumping down the hole. Literally. He doesn’t bother with the latter, he just jumps in, feet first.
02[21:55:31] * Guri shrugs and follows!
02[21:56:10] * Konani grabs his nose and leaps in. Space is an ocean, after all!
01[21:57:10] <~nativejovian> Rather than flying off into the infinite depths of spaaaaace, he falls through to the far end of the tube, then performs a neat 180 flip, and lands on his feet on the other side — his feet now pointing in the opposite direction that they were before. Curious!
01[21:57:22] <~nativejovian> And since you silly people already jumped after him, Acrobatics checks.
01[22:00:40] <~nativejovian> Guri and Konani both replicate Roach’s trick neatly! You’re now standing on the bottom of Koanakala, your feet pointed where your heads were just a moment ago, and nothing above (below?) you but the infinite depths of spaaaaaace!
[22:02:03] <guri> …I’m going to need a drink when this is done.
[22:02:13] <konani> Why wait that long?
[22:02:17] <guri> Now, where’d those nefarious elveses go?
01[22:02:23] <~nativejovian> Well, not quite nothing. Rather close by is the thick tube of the Lanikaula, which thins to a barely visible gossomar strand as it retreats into the distance. Past that is the blue marble of Mokupoe itself. It’s pretty!
01[22:03:55] <~nativejovian> Funny you should ask, Guri. Roach is standing on one! He appears to be quite unconscious.
[22:04:52] <konani> That’s how you make an entrance, Roach! Leap into the abyss and land on one of the antagonists.
01[22:05:21] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Huh, yeah. This wasn’t here last time I was down here.
01[22:05:34] <~nativejovian> Roach pokes at the elf with his boot.
[22:05:54] <guri> Is it dead, Jim?
01[22:06:34] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Nah, he’s just out cold.
[22:07:06] <guri> Well, tie it up. And when we’re done we’ll take it back!
[22:07:12] <konani> Way to go forfeiting that credit, Roach. The correct answer is to take credit for leaping down and landing on him, which in the process knocked him unconscious.
[22:07:13] <guri> Two elveses are better than one, right?
[22:07:38] <konani> Tanviel is going to need a little friend, after all.
01[22:07:58] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] That’s what happened? I just said he’s out cold, not dead.
[22:08:33] <konani> “That wasn’t there last time” implies that knocking him out wasn’t the intended result!
01[22:08:50] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I resent the implication that I implied anything!
[22:09:30] <guri> …right, tie it up and we’ll move on.
[22:09:46] <guri> The sooner we’re past this unpleasantness, the sooner we can be drunk!
[22:10:47] <konani> Quite. Because we’ve totally earned it!
01[22:11:29] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Guri, we’re hunting a team of otherworldly elves from an apparently xenophobic spelljamming empire, who are currently attempting to sabotage our only link to Mokupoe and then probably kill us all in any way they can.
01[22:11:45] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] If that’s your idea of “unpleasantness” then you are the worst adventurer ever.
01[22:12:02] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Because this is seriously the most awesome thing that has ever happened to anyone.
[22:12:38] <konani> Given that we’ve established that there’re spelljamming empires, there’re a lot more anyones out there to whom awesome things could’ve happened.
[22:12:45] <konani> That said, totally agree with the sentiment.
01[22:12:56] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] At least one of you is reasonable.
[22:12:58] <guri> “unpleasantness” that you, Roach, couldn’t play your skills up.
[22:13:10] <guri> Now, let’s go find our elveses!
02[22:13:21] * Konani spies with his little eye(s) for things beginning with “n” and ending with “-efarious elveses”.
01[22:13:22] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Yeah!
01[22:16:40] <~nativejovian> Konani looks around and notices something floating far up above his head, near the bulk of the Lanikaula. It’s hard to judge distance with no frame of reference, but the thing is some combination of too small and too far away to readily identify. But it’s definitely floating free, not tied or tethered to anything.
01[22:17:13] <~nativejovian> Apparently gravity stops if you get too far from the surface of Koanakala. Good to know!
02[22:17:30] * Konani points at…whatever the thing is that he spotted. “Methinks that’s where we’re going.”
[22:17:47] <konani> Or where our friends came from, at least.
[22:18:24] <guri> Onward! Downward! Whatever direction it takes!
[22:19:43] <konani> Given that the Arkhorse is going to be appearing any moment to make them wet their pants, perhaps we should think more laterally. As we probably don’t want to be up there when our guys show up.
01[22:20:56] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Yeah, but the Captain told us to stop them from blowing up the Lanikaula. The ship is just going to make sure to not get blown up by their ship.
[22:21:36] <guri> The best way to make sure the ship can’t blow up Lanikaula is to take it ourselves!
[22:21:48] <konani> …Guri offers a very compelling point.
[22:22:01] <konani> I do want a space-sailship.
[22:22:27] <konani> I’ve got a tricorne hat, eye-patch, and stuffed parrot ready just for such an occasion.
[22:23:26] <guri> In your bag?
[22:23:33] <guri> Because that sounds like a disguise!
01[22:23:57] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …that’s completely insane. You want to board a ship that we don’t know where it is, don’t know how it works, and don’t know how well it’s defended. And then you want to capture it.
01[22:24:06] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …that’s awesome, I’m totally in.
[22:24:06] <guri> Put those on, climb aboard, and say you’re Captain Mack Barrow, and you’re a pirate, savvy!
[22:24:36] <konani> The only question is how we get up.
[22:24:57] <konani> As…I’m not really sure how far away that thing really is.
01[22:25:29] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] We could climb the Lanikaula! The gravity goes away after a while, so you can’t really fall. So does the air, though, so that’s a problem.
[22:27:40] <konani> Well, air clings to stuff, right? They’ve probably got their own envelope. Just hold our breaths while we jump over. Probably how they got onto the Lanikaula in the first place.
[22:28:15] <guri> All that sounds…like…the rum had better NOT be gone when we’re done!
[22:28:45] <konani> Damn straight.
01[22:29:24] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] We could try climbing from inside the Lanikaula, too. There’s air on the inside, after all.
02[22:29:33] * Konani dons his black tricorne hat and perches his shoddily stuffed parrot on his shield! The eye-patch must be eschewed to bludgeon things.
[22:29:37] <konani> But that’s not nearly as awesome.
[22:30:01] <guri> We’ll stick with the awesome way.
01[22:30:50] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I love awesome as much as the next guy, but I’m not sure flinging ourselves into the void and hoping that there’s air on the other end is “awesome” so much as “suicidal”.
[22:31:56] <konani> Pfft. We just did that and ended up totally fine. But since somebody’s a spoilsport, we’ll do things “sensibly”. This time.
01[22:33:12] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] If there were a ship there, I’d totally be for it. But I don’t actually see a ship. Do you?
[22:34:08] <guri> Inside, outside, whatever. Let’s just go! That ship will run from us if we’re not fast.
[22:34:09] <konani> Well, there’s a thing that’s floating free in space which shouldn’t be there at the same time there is a ship full of nefarious elveses about. Process of elimination, man!
02[22:35:25] * Konani heads back inside, because someone’s got to have air.
02[22:37:13] * Guri throws the elf down the hole, too!
01[22:37:38] <~nativejovian> The party has Pakeliku outvoted if they really want to do the exterior assault thing. And the DM promises that he won’t suffocate you all without failing a ridiculous amount of con saves, because that would be Not Awesome.
02[22:39:31] * Konani is going to let Roach have his way, but will never let him forget just how much more awesome this could’ve been had they cold-shirted it.
02[22:39:57] * Guri wonders where the rum went.
01[22:41:03] <~nativejovian> The party heads back up and decides to lead the assault from where there’s air. What’re you doing with your elfy friend in the meantime?
02[22:42:17] * Konani votes for liberal amounts of tying up and gagging for good measure. Never can tell when they’ll be tricksy caters.
02[22:43:19] * Guri seconds!
01[22:44:22] <~nativejovian> KO’d elf is tied and gagged and left lying in the open on the upper side of Koanakala where he (probably) can’t get himself into any trouble!
02[22:47:38] * Konani takes point as head to conduct a boarding action!
01[22:48:07] <~nativejovian> The party presumably heads into the Lanikaula, where there’s air. Heading into the recieving dock, Roach points out another of those hatch things, this time on the inside of the Lanikaula. For… maintenance or something. Or if someone drops their hat, maybe. Who knows, no one in the party designed this crazy thing
[22:49:38] <guri> Not much point trying to figure it out, since we’re leaving soon.
01[22:51:00] <~nativejovian> Guri needs to stop talking to the narrator. It makes him look crazy!
01[22:51:03] <~nativejovian> Down the hatch, party?
02[22:51:40] * Guri goes down the hatch!
02[22:51:45] * Konani goes down the hole! The piratical reign of Mack Barrow begins today!
01[22:52:15] <~nativejovian> Roach gives you both stop-being-idiots looks and goes first. He’s the meatshield, after all.
01[22:52:19] <~nativejovian> Perception checks!
01[22:52:25] <~nativejovian> Also acrobatics, because why not.
01[22:57:55] <~nativejovian> Several things happen at once! First of all, the party realizes that, unlike the underside of Kaonakala, inside the Lanikaula, there’s no gravity. There’s also no place to stand. Konani and Roach manage to keep their balance (whatever “balance” means in a situation with no up or down), but Guri immediately loses his grip on anything solid and drifts off, out of control.
[22:58:21] <guri> Look! I can fly! I’m FLYING!
[22:58:32] <guri> I just aimed for the ground, and missed!
[22:59:17] <konani> A neat trick, that.
01[23:00:28] <~nativejovian> At the same time, Guri manages to spot something farther down the Lanikaula. Several somethings, in fact. Again, it’s hard to tell how far away it is because of the complete lack of reference points, but Roach is able to identify most of them as elves and one of them as something rather larger, like an enormous box or crate or something? And anyway, based on the size of the elves, they’re probably a good 150, 200 feet away.
[23:01:08] <konani> Of course they brought a bomb. Why wouldn’t they have brought a bomb?
[23:01:23] <guri> Let’s take it from them!
[23:02:53] <konani> Or at least stop them from using it for the obviously nefarious things they’re planning.
[23:03:28] <guri> If you want to split hairs.
[23:03:43] <konani> I’d prefer to split their skulls, actually.
01[23:03:47] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] You need to get a thesaurus or something. There are more words than ‘nefarious’.
[23:04:15] <konani> They’re not nearly stealthy or scary enough to be “insidious”.
[23:04:56] <konani> And their malice is kind of wanting for “pernicious”. I mean, they’re xenophobic dicks, but their actions aren’t necessarily malevolent from their contextual point-of-view.
[23:05:02] <konani> Either way, let’s go hurt them!
02[23:05:14] * Konani begins ambling “down”. Or whichever direction they are.
[23:05:51] <guri> Err…someone want to give me a push? Or pull? Whatever is appropriate.
01[23:06:19] <~nativejovian> Trying to slide down the walls, Konani, or free-flying your way there?
01[23:06:56] <~nativejovian> Guri is close enough to a wall that he can push himself off. It’ll take another Acrobatics check to steady yourself, or else you can try to push off and go where you want with one check, but at a penalty.
01[23:07:13] <~nativejovian> By which I mean “disadvantage”, because we’re playing 5e and that’s a thing
02[23:07:37] * Konani is going to free-fly, obviously! Mack Barrow needs to make an entrance, and he’s reasonably well armored. So he’ll probably be fine! …though he’ll refrain until Guri’s got his free-flying in order.
01[23:09:21] <~nativejovian> Acrobatics check for Konani
01[23:11:07] <~nativejovian> Guri tries to get a handle on himself, but can’t quite manage it. Konani tries to fly off TO GLORY! but only manages to set himself spinning almost as wildly as Guri
[23:11:40] <guri> Whee!
01[23:12:12] <~nativejovian> Roach sighs and reachs out, managing to steady both of his partymembers without going into an insane spin himself. No fair, he’s had more practice!
[23:12:53] <konani> Let the record reflect that we’d’ve been falling into their ship’s gravity well had we done things the way I’d wanted to.
01[23:13:11] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Or you’d have spun off into space and suffocated.
01[23:13:23] <~nativejovian> [Pakelike] Or more likely, I would’ve had to save you.
[23:13:25] <guri> Either way, it would have been more awesomeer than this.
[23:13:48] <konani> And then you’d be moving up the food-chain, Roach. But since it didn’t happen, you’re still the smallest fish in the pond.
[23:13:58] <konani> Shall we try this again, with less failure and more awesome?
02[23:14:21] * Konani goes with Approach Option #2. The one that doesn’t involve free-flying.
01[23:15:22] <~nativejovian> Still need an acrobatics check. Space is hard!
02[23:17:30] * Guri starts a Spin class
01[23:18:48] <~nativejovian> Konani manages to start making his way along the wall. It’s not as fast (or as awesome) as free flight, but it gets the job done!
01[23:19:53] <~nativejovian> Roach makes one false start, then makes a second attempt to get started successfully! Then he notices that Guri is flailing helplessly again, grabs onto the man as he’s drifting past, and FLINGS Guri in the right direction! He then rebounds and follows
01[23:19:56] <~nativejovian> Everyone’s on their way!
01[23:22:26] <~nativejovian> Amazingly, the elves down below don’t seem to have noticed you guys. Maybe they’re trusting on their lookouts (of which you’ve neutralized two, for those not keeping track) to warn them. Maybe the air is too thin. Maybe they’re making too much noise themselves. Whatever the reason, you’re (wait for it…) getting the drop on them.
02[23:23:38] * Konani shall save his dramatic bellowing to announce his presence until he’s within Sacred Flame range.
01[23:27:25] <~nativejovian> As the party drifts/slides/moves closer, they begin to see in increasing detail. There are four elves, each working furiously on what appears to be… a ship. The kind of ship you’re familiar with, actually. A regular, normal sailing ship. Except, you know. In space!
01[23:28:42] <~nativejovian> You can’t see precisely what it is they’re doing, but given what you know about their mission here, it probably involves explosives. So that’ll be fun.
01[23:29:51] <~nativejovian> You also begin to realize why they haven’t noticed you yet. It’s loud down here! Like, really loud. And windy! And… oh, that was the thing you saw floating outside. It was a big chunk of wall. Which was removed, to make room to bring the ship inside. And the air is rushing out into space through it.
01[23:30:00] <~nativejovian> That’s like three mysteries solved at once. You’re on a roll!
[23:30:49] <konani> …we would’ve had to wall-jump our way in. SO MUCH FORSAKEN AWESOME.
02[23:30:49] * Guri thought they were floating, not rolling…whatever. Time to Rock!
02[23:32:29] * Konani keeps plugging as well. He’s too close to his stolen space pirate ship to stop now, after all.
01[23:32:50] <~nativejovian> The party is now within striking distance of the elves. Said elves are spread out and working on… whatever it is, spread out along the walls of the tube. The ship — which is more of a dinghy than anything else, honestly — floats serenely in the middle of the tube.
01[23:32:53] <~nativejovian> What do, party?
02[23:35:43] * Konani votes setting them on fire and stealing their space pirate dingy. Starting with the one immediately below them.
02[23:36:32] * Guri agrees!
02[23:36:56] * Guri will freeze what Konani can’t fire, and we’ll catch them in a temperature imbalance!
01[23:36:58] <~nativejovian> Roach concurs. Roll initiative, party!
01[23:38:48] <~nativejovian> I was about to change the topic, but it’s actually still accurate. Initative order: Roach, enemies, Konani, Guri.
01[23:38:59] <~nativejovian> The party has a surprise round, because busy elves are busy being busy.
01[23:39:46] <~nativejovian> Roach unlimbers his sword and shield and takes a big ‘ol swing at the pointy-eared bastard you’re all bearing down on!
01[23:40:35] <~nativejovian> He lands a solid blow! The elf is still standing (floating… whatever!), but just barely.
01[23:40:54] <~nativejovian> Elf is surprised! Also bleeding, but mostly surprised. He doesn’t get to go.
01[23:40:55] <~nativejovian> Konani!
02[23:41:29] * Konani opts to set the bloke on fire, to make a point!
01[23:42:50] <~nativejovian> Konani’s fire-flinging is a bit off due to the whole tumbling-through-freefall thing, but enough catches the target to put the silly elf’s lights out. Nighty-night, Gracie!
[23:43:29] <konani> ARR! THAT BE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YE BE A’MESSIN’ WIT MACK BARROW’S WENCHES AND GROW. YAR.
01[23:43:38] <~nativejovian> Guri’s up! Three elves remaining, one of which is blocked from line-of-sight by the ship.
02[23:43:53] * Guri shoots a Ray of Frost at one of the elves he can see!
01[23:44:45] <~nativejovian> Guri ices one of the hapless elves! The miserable bastard catches the beam full in the chest and does not enjoy the experience, but he doesn’t drop, either.
01[23:46:14] <~nativejovian> Back to the top! Roach leaps for the wounded elf!
01[23:47:10] <~nativejovian> With expert aim, Roach puts the second elf out of your misery! Two targets remaining!
01[23:47:39] <~nativejovian> Both of them decide that survival is the better part of however the fuck that saying goes. They leap for the ship!
01[23:47:49] <~nativejovian> Konani, you’re up again
[23:48:32] <konani> AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS! YA AIN’T GONNA BE STEALIN’ THE SHIP I BE IN THE PROCESS O’ STEALIN’. YAR.
02[23:49:12] * Konani uses Napuamakua’s fire-hugs on one of the fleeing elves, to emphasize this point!
01[23:50:38] <~nativejovian> Konani’s target somehow manages to twist in midair and avoid the worst of the fiery huge! He still gets singed, though
01[23:50:56] <~nativejovian> Guri! You’re up!
[23:51:25] <konani> THAT BE CHEATIN’, IT BE! DIDN’T YER MUDDERS EVER BE A’TELLIN’ YA THAT IT’S NOT POLITE TO BE AVOIDIN’ HUGS? ARR.
02[23:51:36] * Guri tries to shoot the one that Konani singed!
01[23:52:57] <~nativejovian> Tricksy elveses and their not staying still to be shot. Ungrateful of them!
01[23:53:25] <~nativejovian> Round three! Or, well, technically round two, with the surprise round being round zero. But whatever. Back up to Roach!
[23:53:26] <konani> YER’LL BE WALKIN’ THE PLANK RIGHT INTO THE POOP DECK FOR THAT CHICANERY YER’LL BE, YAR.
01[23:55:18] <~nativejovian> Roach makes another expert course correction, sails in a collision course with the wounded elf, and collides with him sword-first. The elf is still standing, but definitely not enjoying the experience.
01[23:58:51] <~nativejovian> The near-collapse elf pulls a knife and manages to shiv Roach with it. Roach is not particularly impressed. The other, unwounded elf aims some sort of doohicky out the hole in the walls and sends a bright ball (which also fills the tube with a fading shriek) out into the void!
01[23:59:18] <~nativejovian> Konani! The bad guys are doing things! Stop them!
Session Time: Sun Oct 18 00:00:00 2015
02[00:03:13] * Konani is vehemently against firing things into space that he hasn’t approved of! So he’ll try to intercept a moving target with Napuamakua’s hugs!
02[00:04:56] * Guri concurrs with Konani, and where fire failed, frost attacks!
01[00:06:06] <~nativejovian> Konani tries to catch the bright noisy thing with a burst of flame, but isn’t quite quick enough off the mark. Guri, however, pins it to the wall with a ray of frost! It goes from a screaming fireball to a sad icy stain on the wall in no time flat, having never made it out into space.
[00:06:30] <konani> YAR. T’IS NOT SPORTING TO BE DOIN’…WHATEVER IT WAS YE’R TRYIN’ TO BE DOIN’. PROBABLY. ARR.
01[00:07:22] <~nativejovian> Roach takes a swing at the elf that just stabbed him, but he’s laughing too hard to aim properly and whiffs.
01[00:07:52] <~nativejovian> The elf tries to stab him again, but Roach just sidesteps, which makes him laugh even harder
01[00:08:31] <~nativejovian> The other elf steps up behind him and shanks him in the back while he’s laughing. Roach does not find that amusing.
01[00:09:46] <~nativejovian> Konani! The stinkin’ elf just ruined your fighter’s joke.
02[00:10:30] * Konani has a new punchline! It’s “your battered and beaten friend just roasted to death”.
01[00:11:51] <~nativejovian> The elf does executes his tricksy hug-dodging technique perfectly! And then drops to the deck anyway. Jerk.
01[00:12:14] <~nativejovian> Guri! One elf left standing, but he hasn’t been touched yet.
[00:12:28] <konani> IT NOT BE POLITE TO BE A NOT RECOGNIZIN’ THE PIRATICAL BANTER THAT BE A-HAPPENIN’. WE KNOW THAT YA BE SPEAKIN’ THE KING’S COMMON. JUST BECAUSE YA BE A TRYIN’ TA KILL US AIN’T NO REASON TO BE RUDE, YAR.
02[00:12:32] * Guri shoots at the last elf!
01[00:13:13] <~nativejovian> The last elf takes an ice beam to the face! He does not enjoy the experience.
[00:13:17] <guri> EAT COLD, YOU WARM BLOODED TRICKESY ELVESES!
01[00:13:44] <~nativejovian> Round 3! One sad elf vs one slightly-sad fighter and two not-at-all sad casters! Yeah, this is gonna end well for him.
[00:14:12] <konani> YAR, BEST BE A SURRENDERIN’. WE BE HAVIN’ CAKE AN’ EVERYTHIN’.
[00:15:52] <guri> But, blimey, thur rum had best not be a-gone!
01[00:16:04] <~nativejovian> Roach is tired of these motherfucking elves on his motherfucking space dinghy! He decides that rectifying this situation is more important than not dying. And besides, it’s not like the stupid elf with his stupid knife could really kill him anyway. The opposite is not true, however! Roach brings his sword down on the elf’s face and the elf drops.
01[00:16:24] <~nativejovian> Victory! Congratulations, party.
[00:16:53] <konani> Or just be dying. That works too, I guess. Mack Barrow’s not choosy.
[00:18:31] <guri> Hurrah!
[00:18:33] <konani> The point is I totally call dibs on their pirate dingy!
[00:18:35] <guri> Drinks all around!
[00:19:06] <guri> Watch, the the Arkhorse will appear in a minute.
[00:19:12] <guri> All dramatically just-too-late.
[00:19:21] <konani> Obviously.
[00:19:53] <konani> We should probably get word to someone this place structural integrity’s been compromised.
01[00:19:55] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] That was fun. We should do more of that.
[00:20:15] <konani> Just keep hanging with us, Roach. It’ll be fun!
[00:20:24] <guri> And sufficiently awesome for now.
01[00:22:36] <~nativejovian> As the party investigates the craft they’ve commandeered, they can find no significant differences with a water craft of the same type. It’s literally just a friggen boat in space. Seriously, what the hell?
02[00:22:52] * Konani is right at home!
[00:23:26] <konani> Getting thrown off of one of these would probably be less pleasant getting thrown off the watergoing variety.
[00:23:33] <guri> Details.
[00:23:45] <guri> The end result of both is losing access to air.
01[00:23:48] <~nativejovian> Well, that’s not entirely true. The sail isn’t quite like anything you’ve seen before. That is, it’s the normal shape and everything, but the material is weird. The sort of thing that poetry nerds would say is woven of starlight and sunbeams or whatever bullshit.
[00:24:31] <konani> SO COOL.
02[00:25:57] * Guri collects the bodies / unconscious elveses, and tries to separate them from each other.
02[00:27:16] * Konani puts his ample knowledge of actual sailing to use to see if he can get the thing rigged enough to sail. On the ocean of stars.
[00:33:03] <guri> I’m on a boat!
01[00:35:28] <~nativejovian> Konani hoists sails! The sails billow outwards impressively and the ship sails smoothly out into the void beyond the Lanikaula! You’re totally in space, guys.
[00:36:00] <guri> Now we look for the Arkhorse!
[00:36:05] <konani> Mack Barrow takes flight! Going to be needing a real parrot, though.
[00:36:07] <guri> …and try not to ram it.
[00:36:24] <konani> You work on that. I’ll keep us from flying off into the void.
02[00:37:13] * Guri makes himself lookout!
02[00:37:20] * Guri looks for things to stay out of
01[00:37:45] <~nativejovian> The ship comes up to full speed almost immediately. Which is good! Because just outside the hole in the Lanikaula is another elf, apparently a lookout, but when he sticks his head out to take a look inside — presumably wondering what the hell all that yelling in Common was about — he takes a boat hull to the skull. Sucker!
[00:38:53] <guri> You hit another elf! How many does that make?
[00:38:55] <konani> That be what ya get for triflin’ with Cap’n Mack Tarrow, savvy?
[00:39:13] <konani> T +B.
01[00:40:30] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] That was… seven? One in the warehouse, one under Koanakala, four in the Lanikaula, one outside the hole they used to get in.
01[00:40:48] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Plus the eight in the group at the tavern.
[00:41:33] <guri> How many beds does this boat have?
[00:41:40] <guri> Or hammocks? Or whatever?
[00:42:00] <konani> Does space have waves that would require hammocks?
[00:42:25] <konani> Though as this thing is basically like a sailing ship, you’d probably want to keep them, so you could totally cruise on regular ol’ water just as easily as space.
01[00:42:35] <~nativejovian> Roach sticks his head belowdecks for a moment. But only for a moment.
01[00:42:52] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] No hammocks. Looks like it’s full of bomb down there.
[00:43:04] <konani> Oh, poppycock.
[00:43:39] <guri> Well.
[00:43:41] <konani> …if this thing is full of bomb, then why do I get the sinking feeling what we shot down was a signal to wherever this thing came from?
[00:44:05] <guri> Does the dingy have an escape boat?
01[00:44:09] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Because that makes entirely too much sense.
[00:44:51] <konani> Only we operate on Napuamakua’s principles of awesomeness, Roach. The Gleeks are drearily orthodox in their sensibilities.
01[00:45:17] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] They must’ve been planning to set this whole thing off to take out the Lanikaula. No kill like overkill, right?
[00:45:57] <guri> They’re setting sail and bombing them from inside…
[00:46:57] <konani> I’m sure we spoiled the surprise of the Arkhorse by tipping our hand that we’d foiled their nefarious scheme, what with us sailing out and not blowing up what this dingy was supposed to.
02[00:47:16] * Konani attempts to find the Arkhorse! Or this dingy’s mothership. Either or.
02[00:48:33] * Guri also looks around…without much more success
01[00:48:51] <~nativejovian> You’re still on the “bottom” side of Kaonakala, so you wouldn’t be able to see the Whiteangel from here in any case. None of you spot anything that could be another ship.
01[00:50:42] <~nativejovian> You could sail around the top side, where you’d probably have a better chance of seeing the Whiteangel, at least.
02[00:52:43] * Konani lays in the course to do so!
01[00:53:39] <~nativejovian> Konani works the tiller and changes course! …how the hell does a tiller even work in space?
01[00:53:48] <~nativejovian> Actually, it’s probably better you don’t think about it too hard.
01[00:54:26] <~nativejovian> Just heading up and around the edge of Kaonakala, or want to try flying (sailing?) over the city itself?
02[00:55:07] * Konani is totally going to buzz the tower! Er, city.
01[00:55:33] <~nativejovian> Make an int check! Sailing proficency applies.
01[00:59:20] <~nativejovian> Konani brings the ship around the edge and starts to bring it over the city! Where it immediately starts losing altitude at a rather alarming rate! Luckily, Konani is able to intuit the fact that Kaonakala’s gravity appears to have overwhelmed the little ship’s own personal gravity, and is able to turn the nose dive into a fairly graceful swoop down toward the ground. You end up floating with the ship’s keel a few feet off the ground.
[00:59:59] <konani> Exactly according to plan.
[01:00:26] <guri> Awesome!
[01:00:39] <guri> I hope you don’t try to get the ship-driving job on Arkhorse.
01[01:00:40] <~nativejovian> Looking around, you notice that you’ve ended up near the loading dock. Looking around a bit more, you notice the elf you left bound and gagged is half-unbounded, and another elf -
not bound at all - is standing over him, helping him get the-rest-of-the-way unbound.
01[01:01:00] <~nativejovian> Both are looking at you with what-the-fuck-did-I-just-see expressions.
02[01:01:20] * Guri Ray-of-Frosts!
[01:01:42] <konani> I’d recommend stopping where you are and surrendering peaceably. Lest we have to do what we did to your frie
-
02[01:01:44] * Guri was clearly unsettled by Konani’s aweome
02[01:01:48] * Konani is interrupted by Guri’s firing.
01[01:02:48] <~nativejovian> Guri gets the drop on everybody and frost rays the unbound elf! It KO’s him in one hit, because everyone’s tired of narratively uncooperative dice for the evening.
02[01:03:01] * Guri grins!
[01:03:17] <guri> Roach, help me load them up on this boat.
[01:03:50] <konani> Ah well. Diplomacy doesn’t seem to work on the Gleeks anyway, so it’s cool.
01[01:04:11] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] So, eight fighters in the distraction team, then four fighters and four sappers in the sabotage team? I’m willing to bet that’s all of them, how about you guys?
01[01:04:35] <~nativejovian> Roach jumps overboard and helps Guri load prisoners.
[01:04:51] <guri> If it isn’t all of them, I’m done looking.
[01:05:08] <konani> Someone else can kill them and take their space dingies, indeed.
[01:05:24] <guri> Let’s find our bigger ship, and see if they want to take this dingy. It’s rather handy.
[01:06:18] <konani> Our dingy. It’s totally our by the right of salvage!
01[01:06:30] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Salvage nothing. It’s a war prize.
[01:06:54] <konani> The S.S. Booby Prize it is!
[01:07:09] <guri> Okay, Cap’n Booby.
[01:07:33] <konani> Napuamakua’s Erupting Booby Prize was a bit too long-winded.
02[01:07:46] * Konani sweeps the skies again for the Arkhorse.
01[01:07:55] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Aw, I was going to suggest “The Indestructible”.
[01:08:15] <konani> Call dibs faster next time and you’ll get to name it.
01[01:09:38] <~nativejovian> The party scans the skies once again but doesn’t see anything in particular. You can choose to cruise overland toward the Whiteangel’s docks, or else sail back off the edge of Kaonakala and get some altitude relative to everything else.
01[01:09:52] <~nativejovian> Or, you know, whatever else you feel like. Those are just the two obvious options.
02[01:10:56] * Konani sets course for the Whiteangel’s docks! And hopefully he’s gotten the hang of this…
01[01:15:11] <~nativejovian> The S.S. NEBP sets sail across Kaonakala! The presense of obstacles and other things at ground level keeps your speed down, but otherwise it’s not much different from sailing the open seas. Open skies. Open space? Whatever.
[01:15:58] <guri> The Arkhorse is out there, somewhere….
[01:16:05] <guri> Hopefully it hasn’t been captured.
[01:16:19] <guri> Because I’d hate to have to do a forced boarding with a bomb.
[01:17:02] <konani> Given the competency of the Gleeks, I’m fairly certain the Arkhorse is perfectly safe.
01[01:18:05] <~nativejovian> The question answers itself as the NEBP sails into sight of the docks! The Whiteangel is safe and sound, and seems to be finished boarding, based on the fact that the docks are otherwise deserted. Well, either that or everyone… decided to go off somewhere else? For some reason?
[01:19:45] <konani> See? Nice and secure.
[01:20:58] <guri> Riiiiight.
[01:21:06] <guri> How do we land without getting attacked?
[01:22:10] <konani> Do a low flyby and toss our unconscious elven friends onto the deck to illustrate we’re friendly?
01[01:22:20] <~nativejovian> Even as Konani speaks, the Whiteangel begins moving! Slowly at first, it pushes back from the docks. Once it’s clear of the obstacle, it begins to turn in place, clearly intending to face its bow forward and then make for open space.
[01:23:29] <guri> Everyone wave!
02[01:23:32] * Guri waves!
[01:23:42] <konani> Well, if the ship’s been overrun, that means the Gleeks have managed to figure out how to operate a technology they didn’t conceive of at the start of today. Given that they’re insufferably arrogant, I’d say that the Arkhorse is still in friendly hands.
02[01:23:45] * Konani waves too!
[01:27:49] <guri> Probably, probably.
01[01:27:57] <~nativejovian> Before it can complete the turn, however, something interesting happens. Another ship — an enormous wooden vessel, at least the size of the Whiteangel, if not larger — appears across the horizon. You can’t see much in the way of detail, as it’s moving at absurdly ridiculous speed — clearly pulling the same gravity-dive trick that Konani stumbled across a few moments ago.
01[01:28:08] <~nativejovian> It passed directly overhead — causing an enormous whoosh of air despite still being a few dozen feet up. Then it collides quite neatly with the Whiteangel, erupting in such a spray of dust and debris that you can’t actually tell if something blew up or it just hit really hard. You can see splinters of wood and even entire lengths of planking spinning through the air, and a moment later bits and pieces of debris being to crash down around you.
01[01:28:10] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …well, that sucked.
01[01:28:14] <~nativejovian> Session end!

Session 004

Spelljammer Custom NativeJovian NativeJovian