01[21:04:22] <~nativejovian> Last time, on Spelljammer! The party arrived in (on?) Kaonakala, the city above the sky, on the first step to an even greater adventure! They were met by one Pakeliku Kolahaolu, also known as “Roach”, whose reputation is primarily about not dying when he really would be expected to. Roach took you drinking! Roach is a good friend.
01[21:04:29] <~nativejovian> At the bar, you met the B-team, the other group of adventurers assigned to the Whiteangel. Then stuff blew up and you had to stab some weird foreign elves to death! The party and the B-team were last seen headed toward the docks to investigate the ominous pillar of smoke rising into the… sky? Even more into the sky? Whatever. Stuff’s burning and you’re headed to check it out!
01[21:04:36] <~nativejovian> Gundam fight all set? Ready – no, wait. I mean, session start!
[21:05:59] <guri> I wonder if this first day on the crew is going to be typical.
[21:06:09] <konani> I’ve had worse.
[21:06:10] <guri> Only one way to find out, though! Onward! To the docks!
[21:06:17] <konani> Haven’t been thrown overboard yet, for instance.
[21:07:04] <guri> The day isn’t over yet.
01[21:07:11] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] No way! I’ve been here for weeks and this is the first time something’s been on fire when it’s not supposed to be.
[21:07:22] <konani> Really? You guys are no fun at all.
[21:07:32] <guri> I’m sure whoever set the fire thinks it is supposed to be on fire.
[21:07:52] <konani> Sometimes a little arson is required to spread the love!
01[21:08:28] <~nativejovian> [Kahalei] …did anyone talk to you people before you were hired?
[21:08:52] <konani> Of course! The better question is whether anyone was sober.
[21:09:06] <konani> No one at my interview was!
[21:09:26] <guri> My interview was handled by post.
01[21:09:46] <~nativejovian> [Kahalei] You know, I honestly wasn’t sure whether “yes” or “no” would’ve scared me more. But you found an answer that was worse than either. Congratulations.
[21:09:51] <guri> Next to a hitching post, as I recall. I may or may not have been in the water trough.
[21:10:42] <konani> They’re rather comfortable, aren’t they?
[21:11:38] <guri> Indeed.
01[21:11:44] <~nativejovian> The party is rapidly covering the distance to the docks! It’s actually a bit disconcerting how quickly the horizon moves here, given that the horizon isn’t actually all that far away.
01[21:11:53] <~nativejovian> Taking any special action, or just bursting onto the scene?
02[21:12:20] * Konani is strumming out traveling music on his ukulele! …but otherwise, no.
02[21:12:22] * Guri casts Presdigitation to have dramatic sound effects
01[21:17:06] <~nativejovian> The party bursts onto the scene! With ukulele music and fanfare! Sadly, the scene is already quite on fire, so no one seems to notice. The flames seem to be concentrated on the dock itself and the stacks of crates and pallets piled on it. The ship itself — which is quite large, now that you’re actually standing before it — is rather obscured by smoke, but doesn’t appear to have caught fire itself.
[21:17:39] <guri> Someone forgot the rule about the order of pillaging and burning.
[21:17:51] <guri> Clearly the B-team — I mean, amateurs.
[21:18:12] <konani> Clearly.
02[21:18:41] * Guri looks around for a Guri-sized crisis to deal with
01[21:20:05] <~nativejovian> The situation isn’t nearly as chaotic as it could be, however. People — some in uniforms of crewmen, but most dressed as civilains
- are running to and fro, some fighting the blaze, others trying to salvage the supplies stacked dockside before the fire reaches them.- wait. Kolahaolu, is that you?!
02[21:20:34] * Guri looks for some supplies to help salvage.
01[21:20:46] <~nativejovian> At the center of the activity is a human woman with short, dark hair, dressed in an officer’s uniform. She’s clearly taken charge of the situation, shouting orders and directing workers as they approach her.
[21:21:37] <guri> Ah, someone who knows how to shout-with-a-purpose.
[21:22:00] <guri> Roach, stay away from that woman, she’ll make your life miserable. Er. More miserable.
[21:22:31] <konani> So it’ll end in marriage, then?
01[21:22:32] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Don’t I know it. That’s Lieutenant Palelule. She’s the ship’s XO.
[21:23:36] <guri> Well, lets go find something she’s overlooked, and do that.
[21:24:12] <guri> No one ever wants to meet the No. 2 before the No. 1. The boss always is more sympathetic than the No. 2.
01[21:24:44] <~nativejovian> As you discuss the situation, the Lieutenant notices your group standing at the outskirts of the situation.
[21:25:20] <konani> My experience has always been the other way around. The XO tends to recognize the importance to crew morale to keep the crew patched up with healing. The captain usually just wants to throw you overboard for events which allegedly transpired with his daughter.
01[21:25:36] <~nativejovian> [Palelule] YOU! Stop standing around and get over he
01[21:25:53] <~nativejovian> Roach is futilely attempting to hide beind the rest of the party.
[21:26:19] <konani> Is that any way to greet The Future Mrs. Roach?
[21:26:24] <guri> Yes! It’s him! We brought him back, knowing that the ship must be in trouble and that you could use more menial labor!
01[21:26:37] <~nativejovian> Upon being noticed, he stops cringing, staps to attention, and throws off a sharpe salute.
01[21:26:54] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Kolahaulo the Indestructable, reporting for duty, ma’am!
[21:27:05] <guri> Also, we killed some suspiciousiousy elves.
[21:27:20] <konani> We may have also been drunk when we did it.
01[21:27:34] <~nativejovian> [Palelule] Shut up and — wait, what? Who are you people? And what’s this about elves?
[21:27:59] <guri> And by “we killed some elves” I mean he did! Points at Konani The rest of us just got beat up by suspicious elves.
[21:28:10] <konani> They really did, too!
01[21:28:18] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] They were suspicious! And they did beat us up.
[21:28:23] <konani> And I’m just your humble neighborhood herald of the Lady of Lava and Love.
[21:28:43] <konani> And the Lavishly Ludicrous. Can’t forget that.
[21:28:51] <guri> I’m your new brewmaster, Guriseren Pereresad.
[21:29:59] <guri> I look forward to mixing chemicals with you
- I mean brewing something special wi- I mean, working with you.
01[21:30:55] <~nativejovian> The poor lieutenant facepalms as she realizes that you all have been teamed up with Roach. Certainly no good can come of this.
01[21:31:58] <~nativejovian> [Kihaka] There was a strange group that attacked us at the tavern, ma’am. As soon as the commotion started. All of them elves, and… foreign, I guess you’d say. Strange accents we didn’t recognize and odd gear that didn’t match any style I’ve ever seen.
[21:33:02] <konani> I’m telling you, they’re from another world!
[21:33:27] <guri> If this is considered a world, then everyone here is technically from another world.
[21:34:01] <konani> Like, another planet! And they spelljammed their way here to engage in villainy!
01[21:34:56] <~nativejovian> [Palelule] They attacked you? That
- nevermind, save it. This changes things. If there are infiltrators in Kaonakala, then this wasn’t an accident, it was sabotage.
[21:35:36] <konani> The only proper course is to find from whence they’ve come and give them one of Nakuamakua’s hugs! The hugs are also made of lava, so if they’re not good neighbors, they’ll be mostly dead.
[21:35:52] <guri> Lava hugs? That sounds fun!
[21:38:24] <konani> Exactly!
01[21:38:37] <~nativejovian> [Palelule] I hope you people aren’t as idiotic as you sound. Gods forgive me, but I’m assigning you three to do anything you can to find any more of these saboteurs. You four -
01[21:38:38] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] The B-team!
01[21:38:38] <~nativejovian> [Palelule] Shut up. You four, do what you can to defend the ship. They’re probably coming back since they didn’t get us the first time.
[21:39:19] <guri> …that makes it sound like the B-team has the more important job.
01[21:39:47] <~nativejovian> The B-team nods in understanding at their assignment and head out to take up defensive positions.
[21:41:27] <konani> She’s just setting us up the eclipse the B-Team by giving the more important-sounding job, so that when we run into the hidden but-even-more-important aspect of the nefariousness afoot, we’ll look that much better.
01[21:43:53] <~nativejovian> [Palelule] Whatever makes you happy. As far as I know, no one saw anything suspicious before everything burst into flame, but I haven’t asked because I didn’t think that it might be anything but an accident. If you’re right about this, though, they’re probably regrouping somewhere for a second try at us. Do whatever you can to find them and disrupt them before they can do that.
[21:45:41] <konani> Right. So then we should go back to drinking and wait for them to try and spy on us again!
[21:47:01] <guri> If we knew what this place was supposed to look like, we could look around for clues, things not where they were supposed to be, etc. But none of the three of us are likely to be able to spot anything like that.
[21:47:45] <konani> Hence why we need to draw them out. Perhaps a big, flashing sign powered by magic, advertising free booze and cake?
01[21:48:39] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I wonder how they started the fire. I doubt they just dropped a torch in some boxes and it suddenly exploded.
[21:49:27] <konani> Clearly someone’s never been around boxes or the longshoremen who handle them.
[21:49:59] <konani> Something’s always catching fire at the docks!
[21:51:25] <konani> As the typical longshoreman is also inebriated, checking that out means we’ll either score some booze or find some elves who need to be hugged to death. So it’s a good plan!
01[21:51:39] <~nativejovian> It’s probably lucky for you that Lieutenant Palelule has returned her attention to directing the firefighting efforts, or she probably would’ve burst into tears by now. Or slapped all three of you. Or both.
02[21:52:29] * Konani leads towards the on-fire shipping containers, in search of booze or a fair fight! And tears are perfectly acceptable, so long as they are manly ones.
02[21:53:01] * Guri follows the priest
01[21:55:50] <~nativejovian> The containers — as well as the dock itself — are ablaze near the gangplank to the ship. Given that the ship isn’t actually in water, the dock is more like a scaffold that lets people walk out even with its decking while it sits on the ground.
01[21:56:02] <~nativejovian> You may roll any skills you think appropriate.
01[22:03:00] <~nativejovian> The two of you notice that the fire seems to have started inside one of the crates, presumably as it sat on the dock waiting to be loaded. Given the size of the explosion that you recall, and the fact that there’s a somewhat-clear spot in the center of the otherwise burning debris, it seems like one of the crates went boom and ignited everything around it.
02[22:04:24] * Guri searches for debris that may have shipping or packing labels on them
[22:04:30] <konani> It would that this was an…inside job.
02[22:04:37] * Konani dramatically strums his ukulele.
02[22:04:57] * Guri casts prestidgitation to give a dramatic sound effect
01[22:08:13] <~nativejovian> Guri finds plenty of crates with their contents labelled. They’re a general mix of the sort of thing you’d expect to find waiting to be loaded onto a ship. Food and water, mostly, with a mix of things like medical supplies, tools and materials to make repairs, and a not-insubstantial supply of alcohol.
02[22:09:45] * Konani checks to see if the crate that looks like it was the original fire-starter has any labeling left.
[22:10:35] <guri> Roach, go tell angry-lady that we think it was a bomb, that exploded in this group of crates. Whoever decided not to load them aboard made a good decision.
01[22:11:01] <~nativejovian> The original crate has been blown to pieces, and the only evidence of its existence is a roughly crate-shaped area clear of wreckage and surrounded by the ruins of other crates. All of which is currently still burning, so you can’t really get close enough to inspect it in detail.
01[22:11:28] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Aye-aye — wait, why are you ordering me around? I have seniority!
[22:11:45] <konani> No you don’t. Asskicking equal authority, remember?
[22:11:53] <konani> And you haven’t kicked any ass at all.
01[22:12:26] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Man, that’s not how the chain of command works at all…
01[22:12:43] <~nativejovian> Nevertheless, he dutifully trots off to report your findings to the XO.
[22:12:52] <guri> We’re giving you the chance to show angry-lady how good you are!
01[22:13:46] <~nativejovian> Anything you want to do during Roach’s absence, or just wait for him to get back?
02[22:15:06] * Konani has no way to put out the fire, so nope!
02[22:15:45] * Guri idly casts Ray of Frost at the fire
01[22:17:40] <~nativejovian> Guri manages to put out a few sputtering flames as they begin to spread to a new crate on the edge of the conflagration! A dock worker shoots you a look of gratitude as he moves up and begins pulling the slightly-scortched box away from the flames with the help of several others.
02[22:18:12] * Guri keeps casting Ray of Frost while they wai
01[22:18:19] <~nativejovian> Roach returns not long afterward.
01[22:19:21] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Boss says that those crates were just moved here for loading after being stored in a warehouse between the docks and the Lanikaula. If they were sabotaged, it was probably there.
[22:19:35] <guri> Let’s go find out!
[22:20:06] <konani> Onwards! We have booze to avenge!
01[22:21:14] <~nativejovian> The party heads for the storage warehouse! Are there other kinds of warehouses? Are there warehouses not used for storage? Regardless, off you go! Roach takes the lead, as he’s the only one who actually knows where anything is.
[22:24:41] <guri> We spend far too much time walking and not enough drinking.
[22:24:56] <konani> Much truth.
[22:25:07] <konani> We’ll change that once we’re actually out in space, though.
01[22:25:14] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] If it makes you feel better, there’s probably more booze in the warehouse.
[22:25:51] <guri> If there isn’t, I’ll make some more! In fact, I’ll be making more, anyway!
[22:26:18] <konani> This is why you’re here. Things aboard ship aren’t fun if the rum’s gone.
01[22:27:01] <~nativejovian> The party arrives at the warehouse! It’s a warehouse. A mostly-empty one at this point, with most of the good stored here presumably moved over to the docks for loading.
01[22:27:06] <~nativejovian> Perception checks!
01[22:29:06] <~nativejovian> Guri and Roach both notice someone skulking in the shadows as you enter the building. Konani recognizes him as an elf wearing the same sort of gear as the group you encountered earlier!
01[22:29:52] <~nativejovian> He doesn’t seem to have noticed that you’ve spotted him. He’s keeping well away from the group, but keeping an eye on you.
[22:30:08] <konani> Ne’er-do-wells sighted! And they’re keeping tabs on us. Why does it always have to be elves?
[22:31:25] <guri> Because it gives you a chance to be racist about a species not known for being fire-friendly?
[22:31:52] <konani> Very true! But it’s fine, because everybody’s a little bit racist.
[22:32:03] <guri> Anyway. Talk, kill or smack-then-talk?
01[22:32:21] <~nativejovian> The elf stops and holds perfectly still, as if hoping that you’ve spotted some other ne’er-do-well and aren’t actually talking about him. Because if you were, you wouldn’t possibly just yell it out like that, would you?
[22:32:46] <konani> Well, they’re going to be murdered with fire. But politeness dictates giving them the chance to avoid that fate.
02[22:33:06] * Guri tries to subtlely cast prestidigitation to cause a noise somewhere else.
01[22:33:47] <~nativejovian> I’m pretty sure you can’t actually do that without a feat or something. But what the hell, make an Arcana check, why not?
01[22:35:28] <~nativejovian> You roll 20+ at level one, sure, you can bend the rules. Guri prestidigitates a distraction! The elf is distracted. He turns toward it, away from the party!
[22:35:52] <guri> What was that noise? Let’s find out!
[22:36:13] <konani> Yes, let’s!
01[22:36:26] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Um. Sure.
02[22:36:32] * Guri tries to ray of frost the elf!
[22:38:40] <guri> Roach, I’ve now officially kicked more ass than you, so you’re definitely the low-man on the A-Team pole.
[22:39:31] <konani> Quite. Excellent shot. Everything’s proceeding according to plan.
01[22:40:03] <~nativejovian> Guri makes with the pew-pew and catches the elf off-guard with a nasty hit! The elf is actually knocked on his ass by the attack, but manages to scramble to his feet with some alarcity. He books it! Unfortunately, he’s rather the worse for wear, and appears to be incapable of booking it with any real speed.
01[22:40:17] <~nativejovian> It’s more like… pained shuffling.
[22:40:21] <guri> Roach, fetch!
01[22:40:43] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] You want him talking, napping, or just his head?
[22:41:03] <konani> Talking. We have to rub our success in his face, after all.
[22:41:09] <guri> …what he said.
01[22:42:37] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] On it!
01[22:43:09] <~nativejovian> Roach leaves his sword sheathed as he runs up and grabs the elf in a headlock!
01[22:44:19] <~nativejovian> Unfortunately, his grip slips on a patch of ice left by Guri’s ray of frost and the elf manages to squirm free!
[22:44:20] <guri> Now, we’re going to kill you, and if you don’t then we’re going to tell us all you know!
[22:44:38] <guri> …Roach.
01[22:44:51] <~nativejovian> Fortunately, the elf can’t actually go anywhere, and this repeats itself until Roach eventually gets a solid grip and hauls him over to you.
02[22:45:01] * Guri slowclaps
02[22:45:09] * Konani shakes his head.
01[22:45:13] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Maybe you should shoot him with something sticky next time, if you want someone to grab him for you.
[22:45:27] <guri> I’ll keep that in mind.
[22:45:47] <konani> Well, the only other option was my using Sacred Fire. Blood baked by fire’s still vaguely sticky, isn’t it?
[22:46:08] <guri> In some dimensions, probably. Not the ones we deal with, though.
[22:46:44] <konani> Ah well. Our cunning plan worked flawlessly noentheless!
01[22:46:48] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Nah, it just dries up and gets all flakey. Makes it slippery like dust.
02[22:47:16] * Guri looks around the warehouse for anything that would indicate bombs were or are stored here
02[22:47:28] * Guri also looks for whatever got taken out of the crate so the bomb could be put in it
01[22:48:54] <~nativejovian> If you take the time to look around, you’ll find a half-empty bottle of rum stashed back in the shadows where the elf was hiding. Apparently they stuffed the bomb in a crate of booze. Hey, free accelerant, right?
01[22:49:19] <~nativejovian> Alas, no sign of bombs
02[22:49:33] * Guri shrugs and grabs the rum
[22:49:43] <guri> All right, let’s go find angry lady again!
01[22:50:25] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Are you allergic to proper names or something?
[22:50:54] <guri> I tend to remember people not by names but by their dominant emotions.
[22:51:07] <konani> You hear that, Mr. Suspicious Elf-Guy? The Angry Lady’s coming. Probably best to just tell us what flavor of villainy you’re engaged in rather than risk dealing someone much less mirthful than us.
[22:54:17] <guri> <elvish> Tell us why the rum is gone!
01[22:54:26] <~nativejovian> The elf replies in a series of creative Elvish curses. Or at least, he does until Roach shifts his grip and chokes him off.
[22:55:00] <konani> Honestly, it’s called Common for a reason. To not speak it is just plain impolite. If you’re going to come to our localspace, speak our language!
[22:55:32] <guri> <elvish> The priest is going to sacrifice you in a bed of lava if you don’t start speaking a language he understands.
01[22:56:57] <~nativejovian> [Elf] He’s going to do that anyway. Just get it over with.
[22:59:04] <guri> <elvish> First, he’s going to torture you. You see the small instrument he’s carrying? You don’t want to know what it can do to your mind, the sensations it can cause in your brain…!
01[22:59:16] <~nativejovian> Roach is kind enough to provide a running translation for Konani’s benefit.
01[22:59:43] <~nativejovian> [Elf] The tiny guitar? That’s what you’re trying to intimidate me with?
[22:59:53] <konani> For the record? Nakuamakua frowns on the whole human sacrifice thing. That said, it’s a very nice bed of lava!
[23:00:03] <guri> <elvish> Since we have a shocking lack of lava-beds here, I’m sure he’ll have lots of time to torture you with it!
01[23:00:24] <~nativejovian> [Elf] …you’re not very good at this, are you?
[23:00:42] <guri> <elvish> About as good as you were at not being noticed.
[23:01:13] <konani> Ooh, burn.
01[23:01:21] <~nativejovian> [Elf] …alright, I deserved that one. But seriously, who goes wandering through a warehouse when your ship is on fire?
[23:01:29] <guri> <elvish> Look, I’m a godsdamned brewmaster, all right? And you were drinking shitty rum. I’d like nothing better than to let Roach there shove his hand up your ass and pull your intestines out for drinking this kind of shit.
01[23:02:00] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Gross. I’m not doing that.
[23:02:16] <konani> Inventive, if nothing else.
[23:02:49] <guri> You’ll do that if Angry Lady tells you to. Let’s go see how she feels about her shiny new ship having its paint job smeared by all that nasty oily smoke!
[23:03:23] <konani> Because, you know, the ship’s not actually on fire.
01[23:04:19] <~nativejovian> [Elf] I — wait, what? You guys are bullshitting me. That should’ve been enough to burn down a rock.
[23:04:33] <guri> <elvish> Also, you failed. The ship didn’t get damaged. And we ran into some of your friends at a bar — where they were drinking better alcohol than you, shit-for-brains — and we already beat them up.
01[23:05:32] <~nativejovian> The elf decides that he’s done talking to you and clams up, his expression stubborn.
[23:05:52] <guri> Right, then. Roach, tickle him.
[23:06:14] <konani> Of course! Laughter torture!
01[23:07:51] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …can’t we just give him to the XO? I can’t maintain my reputation as a fierce warrior if I’m tickling prisoners.
[23:08:21] <konani> Oh, don’t worry. That reputation went away a long time ago.
01[23:09:04] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I’m still not tickling anyone.
[23:09:22] <guri> Then let’s just take him to the tender mercies of the XO.
[23:09:37] <konani> You can’t kick ass or tickle properly. You’re going to get very far on the A-Team with that resume, Roach.
[23:09:54] <guri> …besides, we all know that you’d tickle the XO if she asked – or ordered – you to do it.
[23:10:17] <konani> Probably like it even more if she ordered it.
01[23:11:34] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I, uh… uh…. Oh! Look, here we are. Hey, Lieutenant! We found this for you!
01[23:12:42] <~nativejovian> The Lieutenant looks surprised to see you, much less so soon. And the fact that you appear to have actually done something useful nearly floors her. You are filled with the sneaking suspicion than she’s learned from experience that it’s a good idea to keep Roach busy with “activities”.
[23:13:31] <konani> It would appear that someone intended to sabotage the ship by detonating some manner of bomb aboard. That went off prematurely on the loading dock.
[23:13:52] <konani> Oh, and we found one of the perpetrators. Whose refusal to speak Common like any polite sentient is just reinforcing that he’s really from another world.
01[23:14:44] <~nativejovian> [Elf] If someone would just get around to killing me, that’d be fantastic.
01[23:14:58] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] …what did you DO to him?
[23:15:44] <konani> Well, someone may have insinuated I might want to sacrifice him on a bed of lava. And then the insinuations may or may not have spiraled out of control from there.
[23:16:04] <konani> Really, it’s all his fault, as if he’d’ve just spoken Common, then I could’ve done the talking instead of Guri.
01[23:17:17] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I don’t think that would’ve helped.
[23:17:54] <guri> He’s drinking shitty, cheap rum! He doesn’t deserve anything as good as sacrifice on a lava bed!
[23:18:02] <konani> My bedside manner is quite good, thank you very much. And, seriously, it couldn’t have been any worse than Guri’s wanting to rip out the guy’s intestines over his choice of alcohol.
02[23:18:09] * Guri waves the half-empty rum bottle around
01[23:18:16] <~nativejovian> [Elf] It was what was there. You learn to take what you can get in this job.
[23:19:46] <guri> If this is the type of swill we’re stocking on this ship, it’s a good thing I’m here!
01[23:20:05] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] …we’re going to need to call the captain in on this one. Unless either of you have any truth spells prepared?
[23:20:28] <konani> Ran out of spells just trying to keep Roach from dying, I’m afraid.
[23:20:32] <guri> Well…I do have a few bottles in my bag. In vino vanity, and all that.
01[23:21:11] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I don’t want to sound unappreciative, but I totally had things under control. They don’t call me The Indestructable for nothing!
[23:21:38] <konani> Which is why I had to also kill most of the elves, too?
01[23:22:06] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Hey, they call me “the Indestructable”, not “the Kills Everything”.
[23:22:47] <konani> You’re the only person who calls yourself “the Indestructable”. Everyone else seems to call you Roach.
[23:23:11] <guri> ….Anyway. Can we give the prisoner to someone who has a nickname that other people actually recognize?
[23:23:42] <konani> I don’t know if the lieutenant responds to “the Angry Lady”, Guri.
[23:23:46] <konani> We might have to find someone else.
[23:24:12] <guri> One of the competent ones from the B-Team, maybe?
[23:24:26] <guri> Please, not anyone from the Scarlet Team.
01[23:25:09] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] They’re busy trying to keep anyone else from burning the ship down. If you want to go back to investigating, we’ll get someone to watch your prisoner for you.
[23:26:24] <konani> We don’t have any leads. Perhaps if our elven friend were to give us one, we would go somewhere else, and he’ll finally be free of us.
01[23:27:43] <~nativejovian> [Elf] You are terrible at interrogation.
01[23:27:55] <~nativejovian> The party is free to roll appropriate skill checks.
02[23:30:44] * Konani aids Guri, as the lack of Elven prevents much else re: the prisoner.
01[23:32:37] <~nativejovian> The party does its best to persuade their prisoner to cooperate!
01[23:33:37] <~nativejovian> [Elf] Look, you seem like nice kids, so I’ll be honest with you. Go back home and stop mucking about with stuff you don’t understand, and you’ll be left alone. Probably.
01[23:34:41] <~nativejovian> Konani’s keen sense of insight suggests that the elf is just biding his time. As if he expects to be rescued, or at least something to happen that will give him an opportunity to escape.
03[23:35:38] * Konani_ (chatzilla@Nightstar-eoqunk.ok.cox.net) has joined #Valhalla
02[23:36:39] * Konani (chatzilla@Nightstar-eoqunk.ok.cox.net) Quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
09[23:36:43] * Konani_ is now known as Konani
[23:36:59] <konani> Let the record reflect that cryptic response is exactly the sort of thing that supports my thesis about them being xenosentients.
01[23:38:06] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] You think they’re aliens? He’s not an alien. He’s an elf.
[23:38:07] <konani> Also, you should probably just tell us wherever the rest of your friends are. To expedite the process of your failing and our continuing to meddle in things we don’t understand.
[23:38:35] <konani> It’s possible to be an alien and an elf! He’s just an elf from another planet. Who got here via spelljamming.
[23:38:59] <konani> The panspermian implications of that can be dwelt upon later, once there’re more dead elves and fewer things on fire..
01[23:40:07] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] You’re going to set the elves on fire, so I don’t think we can get both of those at once.
[23:40:25] <guri> I’m more interested in panalcoholism theories, personally.
[23:42:55] <konani> Since Mr. Xeno’s obviously expecting help, that either means his friends will be coming or that the other shoe’s going to fall. What cargo’s been loaded, exactly? In case there’s another bomb just waiting to blow.
01[23:43:17] <~nativejovian> Guri uses his keen powers of insight to deduce that the elf is a fan of hoity-toity wines that people describe with words like “bouquet”. Though he was just drinking rum straight from the bottle, so his standards are probably quite a bit lower at this point in time.
[23:44:02] <guri> Let’s get the elf drunk, and then someone can try to persuade him to tell us more things.
01[23:44:39] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] We’ve been loading supplies for weeks, but this most recent shipment has just been consumables. Food, water, medical supplies, anything that has a relatively short shelf-life.
01[23:44:49] <~nativejovian> [Elf] …
[23:45:33] <konani> Something you’d like to add, Mr. Xeno? About the cargo or wanting to avoid having rum poured down your throat via a funnel?
01[23:46:49] <~nativejovian> [Elf] You know, usually people don’t explain their plans to trick a prisoner into revealing information in the presense of the prisoner.
[23:47:01] <guri> I recommend we store the prisoner where the supplies got loaded, then.
[23:47:11] <konani> Good idea.
01[23:48:16] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] Dock’s still on fire. You’re welcome to wade through it, but I don’t think your friend will make the trip intact. He looks a little roughed up.
[23:48:48] <guri> I gave him a bit of a chill when we found him.
[23:49:10] <konani> Well, he’s not exactly talkative, so he’s not exactly doing much to incentivize us giving a damn about his welfare.
[23:50:37] <konani> Unless you think the captain might be able to get through to him.
01[23:51:33] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] I don’t know what she has prepared today. But she might have a scroll of something useful even if she doesn’t have anything prepared.
[23:53:44] <konani> Probably best to let her have a crack before we opt for letting Nakuamakua give him a hug, then.
01[23:55:07] <~nativejovian> [Nakale] She’s aboard ship. You can get aboard without going through the fire by climbing up the side of the hull, I suppose. We’ll have someone get you some rope and grapples.
[23:55:41] <guri> Probably what we’ll have to do, then.
[23:56:10] <konani> So we’ll be making an entrance, then? Excellent!
[23:56:20] <konani> And, if things go badly, then at least Mr. Xeno still gets his hug.
01[23:57:22] <~nativejovian> Nakale yells some orders and the party is swiftly equipped with ropes and grappling hooks. Why didn’t you have any of these already? What kind of adventurers are you?
02[23:59:44] * Guri grumbles that he did have rope, just not a grapple
Session Time: Sun Sep 27 00:00:00 2015
[00:00:02] <guri> And we’re off! Er…how does one use this stuff, anyway?
01[00:00:28] <~nativejovian> With a Strength (Athletics) check.
[00:00:35] <konani> Like this!
02[00:00:44] * Konani demonstrates his Athletics prowess!
02[00:01:47] * Konani expects dramatic music from Guri appropriate for his awesome rope-scaling.
01[00:03:51] <~nativejovian> Konani whips the grappling hook around and throws it one-handed, lodges it solidly in place on the first try, and climbs up the rope with ease — carrying the elf up with his free hand. Dude’s a badass at grappling hooks.
01[00:05:07] <~nativejovian> Roach, not content to be shown up, climbs up without using his hands. Somehow. You’re not entirely sure how he managed that, and you watched it happen.
02[00:05:40] * Guri manages to do fairly well, but doesn’t have any cool ways to show off. So he makes his cloak billow dramatically the whole climb with prestidigitation
[00:07:06] <konani> See, Roach? That’s how you advance in the A-Team!
[00:08:29] <konani> Keep that up and Lt. Angry Lady will be ordering you to tickle people in no time.
[00:09:00] <guri> And then his life will be complete.
01[00:10:14] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] The more time I spend with you people, the more I’m convinced that it’s all going to end in tears.
01[00:10:27] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Anyway, bridge is this way.
[00:10:50] <konani> Manly tears, shed in recognition of our awesomeness? Quite!
02[00:11:09] * Konani leads in the direction Roach presumably pointed!
01[00:14:48] <~nativejovian> The party makes their way to the bridge! The atmosphere on the ship is rather more relaxed than the one on the dock. It’s not like they don’t understand that shit’s on fire, but it’s not the SHIP that’s on fire, so they’re a bit less excited about it.
[00:16:49] <konani> Anticlimactic.
01[00:18:16] <~nativejovian> On the bridge, overlooking the dock fire and the firefighting efforts, is the captain! You can tell who she is because she’s got a nicer hat than everyone else. Captain Mulue Lami is a stern-faced elf woman with long brunette hair.
01[00:19:16] <~nativejovian> [Mulue] Mister Kolahaulu. Dare I ask why you’ve decided to board my ship in such an unconventional fashion with three strangers, one of them tied up?
[00:19:46] <konani> Because he’s probably into that sort of thing. At least when Lt. Angry Lady is involved.
01[00:19:50] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] These guys are the rest of my squad. And the other one is our prisoner! He set the fire. Or helped, anyway.
01[00:22:25] <~nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Lieutenant Nakale suggested that we bring him to you for interrogation. We used up all our spells killing his buddies over at the tavern.
02[00:23:02] * Konani coughs about this “we” nonsense.
01[00:23:43] <~nativejovian> The captain gives the three of you a flat look, then shakes her head ruefully.
[00:25:11] <konani> I know that head-shake well! We’re bonding by being sufficiently indispensable that our eccentricities keep her from throwing us overboard.
01[00:25:13] <~nativejovian> [Mulue] There’s obviously more going on here than you’re explaining, but if you’re saying that this is all some sort of attack, then our time is probably better spent dealing with it than asking for explanations.
01[00:26:10] <~nativejovian> Mulue casts a spell on the captive elf, then turns to the party.
01[00:26:37] <~nativejovian> [Mulue] Ask him whatever you need. We’ll go over this in more detail later.
01[00:26:50] <~nativejovian> The party may make Arcana checks if they wish
01[00:27:54] <~nativejovian> Konani sneezed while Mulue was casting and has no idea what that spell was.
[00:30:32] <konani> Stupid hayfever…
01[00:31:06] <~nativejovian> [Mulue] There are very few plants on Kaonakala. I imagine it’s the smoke.
01[00:35:07] <~nativejovian> The party has uncovered a sabotage plot, captured a prisoner, and confused both of their superior officers! Excellent work for your first day on the job so far, guys. And the day is far from over! You still have a prisoner to interrogate and more plots to uncover! Next time, on… Spelljammer Custom? That doesn’t really work as a TV show title thing, does it? Oh well.
01[00:35:13] <~nativejovian> Session end!