Session 005

01[21:39:03] <nativejovian> Welcome once again, to the world(s?) of Spelljammer! Where whalers on the moon really do carry their harpoons while they whistle whaling tunes! At least, probably. Somewhere. Mokupoe doesn’t have a space whaling industry yet, but give it time.
01[21:40:04] <nativejovian> Of course, your first spelljamming vessel just got suicide-rammed by a bunch of dickish elves, so that might put a damper on things. Man, elves are jerks even in space.
01[21:42:41] <nativejovian> The party is currently aboard their commandeered dinghy, the S.S. NEBP (Napuamakua’s Erupting Booby Prize), cruising over the surface Kaonakala toward the docks. Or rather, toward an enormous dust cloud where the docks and the Whiteangel used to be.
01[21:42:46] <nativejovian> What do, party?
[21:44:01] <guri> We need to set this thing down and see what damage the Arkhorse has sustained.
[21:46:05] <konani> I’m sure it’s fine. The worst thing that’s happened is that the Lieutenant’s gotten a splinter. And Roach can play the hero by removing it.
[21:47:13] <guri> Then shouldn’t we go help him be a hero?
01[21:47:39] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Hey, it’d be some sort of crazy alien elf splinter. It probably transforms people into ravening monsters or something.
[21:48:54] <konani> Maybe it miniaturizes them instead. That’d be the kind of tricksy alien shenanigans you have to anticipate!
02[21:49:09] * Konani meanwhile plots a course towards the dust-cloud that was once the docks.
01[21:49:54] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Maybe some sort or ravening space raven! With razor-sharp feathers and eyes to drive men mad!
[21:50:33] <guri> And how good will you look saving the Lieutenant from that?
01[21:51:31] <nativejovian> Konani takes the Nebp in for a closer look. Around you, the shower of debris begins to taper off, though the dust remains as thick as ever, despite a layer beginning to form on every surface of the ship. And on you, for that matter.
[21:52:08] <konani> Gravity is a very silly thing.
[21:52:17] <guri> It’s over-rated.
[21:52:27] <guri> It’s always trying to bring you down.
01[21:53:09] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …you should work on that.
[21:53:42] <konani> Puns like that mean our brewmaster’s either had too much or not enough alcohol. And as he’s the brewmaster, the latter’s impossible.
[21:53:51] <konani> So stop shluffing off.
[21:54:02] <konani> former, not latter
01[21:54:29] <nativejovian> The dense cloud forces the party to slow so as to not crash into anything at unpleasant speed. It’s actually kinda creepy! Like a dense fogbank, except with dust. And in space.
[21:54:50] <guri> ECHO!
01[21:55:04] <nativejovian> Guri hears nothing. Fog does not work that way.
02[21:55:22] * Guri shrugs
01[21:55:53] <nativejovian> Perception checks!
01[21:57:49] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Guys. I don’t want to alarm anyone… but I think I’ve gone blind. I don’t see anything but grey, no matter which direction I look!
[21:58:25] <konani> Wouldn’t expect any less of you, Roach.
[22:00:02] <guri> I wouldn’t expect anything more.
[22:00:23] <konani> Our expectations are very precise, it seems.
[22:01:06] <guri> Not that I can see much, either. So I’ll just trust our pilot until we find enough booze to drown our sorrows.
01[22:01:17] <nativejovian> Konani is able to expertly pick out the silhouette of the Whiteangel perfectly, despite the oppressive dust cover! It’s resting idle on the surface of Kaonakala, apparently none the worse for wear other than the fact that it’s idle when you last saw it under way. He’s even able to line the Nebp up to a convenient place to tie it up with a hatch to the interior nearby!
02[22:02:01] * Konani demonstrates why he’s totally trustworthy!
01[22:02:58] <nativejovian> Pakeliku hops out and makes the Nebp secure. You’re home, kids!
02[22:04:23] * Konani disembarks! With gusto!
[22:05:27] <guri> And now we all need a drink!
[22:07:58] <guri> Roach, go find someone to give our prisoners to.
01[22:08:40] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Oh yeah, I forgot about those guys. Hopefully none of them have suffocated on dust.
[22:08:57] <guri> If a few have…well, won’t bother me.
[22:09:06] <guri> More drinks for me.
[22:09:18] <konani> Quite.
[22:09:46] <konani> Though they are our only soruces of info on the rest of space.
01[22:10:06] <nativejovian> Roach undogs the hatch and leaps through, feet first! Apparently he’s fond of that trick. You hear him land on the deck below and then yell “Hey, you lot! Up top and help us escort some prisoners!”
01[22:12:43] <nativejovian> A moment later, a handful of crewmen — most of them bruised and dirty, but not seriously wounded — climb up on deck and begin hauling your still-unconscious prisoners away.
[22:13:49] <guri> How’s the ship, boys? It looks like it keeps shrugging off all the crazy things that get thrown at it!
01[22:15:04] <nativejovian> [Crewman] Lots of stuff shook loose and a lot of people thrown around by the impact, but doesn’t seem to be any serious hull damage.
[22:15:15] <konani> See?
[22:15:17] <guri> Nifty!
[22:15:30] <guri> Let’s go report in to the officers so the B-team can see why they’re not us.
[22:15:52] <konani> Indeed! And so Roach can make with the splinter-removing.
01[22:16:11] <nativejovian> [Crewman] Uh, before you go, I have to ask. Did you… sail this here?
[22:16:47] <konani> Yep!
[22:17:05] <konani> Because we’re awesome liek that.
01[22:17:10] <nativejovian> [Crewman] Space makes no goddamn sense. At all.
[22:17:22] <konani> It wouldn’t be nearly as awesome if it did.
[22:17:24] <guri> Why do you say that?
[22:18:43] <konani> Because sensical things are very rarely awesome.
01[22:19:29] <nativejovian> The crewman finish what they’re doing and file back inside. Apparently they don’t want to get as dust-covered as you all are.
[22:19:44] <guri> Anyway, to the bridge of the Arkhorse!
02[22:20:51] * Konani leads the way! As he remembers from their last trip, oh yes.
02[22:21:31] * Guri follows. And brings the rum.
01[22:22:30] <nativejovian> The interior of the Whiteangel is much more chaotic than last time, as crewmen run to and fro, checking for damage and effecting repairs. As you were told, things look like they’ve been shaken up and a handful of stuff has broken loose or been thrown around, but there doesn’t seem to be any major structural damage.
[22:22:55] <guri> Ship’s built well, I’ll give it that.
[22:23:01] <guri> Even if it needs the name changed.
[22:23:33] <konani> I wonder how many times the Gleeks will wet their pants at seeing us before the novelty of the ship wears off.
[22:23:58] <guri> At least once more.
01[22:24:00] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Depends on how good their marines are.
[22:24:51] <guri> They’re not as good as the A-team!
[22:26:04] <guri> The question is, are they as good as the B-team?
01[22:26:12] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] That goes without saying. There’s probably more than three of them, though.
[22:26:49] <guri> How many did we take out? Almost a dozen.
01[22:27:28] <nativejovian> Roach does a quick headcount on his fingers.
01[22:28:02] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Dozen even. Half of the eight at the tavern, then a total of eight more at the Lanikaula.
[22:28:21] <guri> A dozen. By the three of us. That’ll work.
01[22:30:50] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Those were infiltrators, though. Spooks and sappers, not proper marines. Wasn’t even a proper sword among the lot of them.
[22:31:17] <guri> We’ll see.
[22:31:36] <guri> But if you argue like that, the Lieutenant won’t let you pull splinters out of her sensitive regions.
[22:31:53] <konani> Indeed!
[22:32:04] <konani> And if they’d been armed with proper swords, you’d be dead, Roach.
[22:32:14] <konani> For-reals, given the working over they gave you with what they had.
01[22:32:21] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] I’d be dead if a lot of things.
[22:32:53] <konani> That…you know what? It’s true.
[22:32:54] <guri> Well, I’ll be happy to help you drown your sorrows in alcohol.
01[22:33:10] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Sorrow nuthin’, that’s what makes me so awesome.
[22:34:04] <guri> I’ll help you dilute your awesomeosity so the rest of us can keep from feeling not up to snuff, then.
[22:34:39] <konani> Silly, silly Roach.
01[22:34:43] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Any idiot can get really strong and then beat up a bunch of guys way weaker than him. But to walk the line where you do something just barely not enough to kill you? That’s the stuff of legends, man.
[22:35:00] <konani> No. That’s just dumb.
[22:35:25] <konani> If you continually get stronger, things which are appropriate challenges will invariably find their way to you.
01[22:35:34] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] You ever read the legends? A lot of legendary guys did a bunch of stupid crap. And it was awesome.
[22:35:51] <guri> And they were usually drunk at the time.
01[22:36:05] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] That’s true too.
[22:36:12] <konani> I’m practically a scholar on legendary awesomeness! And legendary heroes become as strong as they can and then go find appropriate challenges. Or the challenges find them.
[22:36:34] <konani> None of this self-regulation of your own growth nonsense.
[22:37:06] <guri> If you can remember what you did the next day, you don’t have a drinking problem.
[22:37:15] <konani> Exactly!
[22:38:50] <guri> Now, the bridge ought to be around here somewhere…
01[22:38:56] <nativejovian> The party’s musings on life, adventures, and awesomeness bring them to the bridge! The captain and the XO are both present. The former is chatting with your pet elf prisoner, while the latter is taking a series of status reports from a steady stream of runners.
02[22:39:32] * Guri salutes with the rum bottle.
01[22:40:05] <nativejovian> Guri’s gesture is wasted, as neither officer is paying you any attention at the moment.
02[22:40:21] * Guri shrugs and takes another drink.
01[22:40:34] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] …why are you complaining about being sober when you’ve been carrying that thing around?
02[22:40:41] * Guri saunters over to where the captain is interrogating the first prisoner.
[22:40:57] <guri> Captain! The A-Team is back, and we’ve brought a bunch more prisoners!
[22:41:25] <konani> And a booby prize!
01[22:41:38] <nativejovian> The captain looks up at you.
01[22:41:55] <nativejovian> [Mulue] Ah, good. I presume you were successful in dealing with the rest of the infiltrators, then?
[22:42:19] <guri> You bet! 8 of them and 3 of us. It wasn’t fair. For them.
[22:42:23] <konani> And in obtaining a working model of their spelljamming technology!
[22:42:59] <guri> Which Konani is becoming quite skilled at piloting.
01[22:43:02] <nativejovian> [Tanivel] Wait, you did what?
[22:43:35] <guri> We captured a dinghy, and disarmed a big bomb.
[22:43:44] <guri> And brought a bunch more passengers.
[22:43:48] <guri> Prisoners.
[22:43:50] <guri> Something.
01[22:44:04] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Prisongers.
[22:44:13] <guri> Them.
[22:44:14] <guri> Yes.
[22:44:31] <konani> Quite.
[22:45:29] <guri> They were trying to blow up the Lani-something with a gurt big bomb.
[22:45:39] <guri> We stopped them, of course.
01[22:45:42] <nativejovian> [Mulue] That’s excellent news! We haven’t been able to come up with a design for any sort of ship much smaller than the Whiteangel herself. The engines have certain minimum size requirements, so a dinghy will be quite useful.
[22:46:00] <konani> It doesn’t really have “engines” per se.
01[22:46:54] <nativejovian> [Mulue] Oh, yes, I’m aware. I’ve been speaking with Tanivel, here. Not for much longer, I’m afraid. Can’t cast too many more Charm Persons today.
[22:47:22] <guri> There’s always tomorrow! It’s another day.
[22:47:34] <konani> Indeed.
[22:47:39] <guri> Though, I’m still not sure how you’re getting that to work on an elf.
01[22:48:23] <nativejovian> [Mulue] They seem to have the opposite problem that we do. We can’t make our ships too small because we haven’t managed to miniturize our aether engines. They can’t make their ships too large because the only means of aether propulsion they have is sails, and you can only add so many sails in a given amount of space before they start interfering with each other.
[22:49:13] <guri> …yes. Exactly what I was thinking!
[22:50:13] <konani> The NEBP shall proudly serve.
[22:50:29] <guri> I’ll drink to that!
[22:51:30] <konani> Here here!
01[22:51:42] <nativejovian> [Tanivel] The idiots who rammed you probably thought that you had thin metal sheeting over a wooden hull. The biggest sails we’ve ever put together wouldn’t move a solid metal hull this size. I hope the poor dumb bastards abandoned ship and let it fall in on its own rather than gloriously sacrificing themselves in order to give your crew an object lesson on making sure everything is properly stowed away and lashed down.
[22:53:10] <guri> Well, that explains why the ship seems to keep surviving.
[22:53:20] <guri> But eventually they’ll make a big enough bomb to do damage.
[22:54:02] <guri> Anyway, there’s more of them for you to interrogate in the future! And if you’ve got some engineers or whatnot, they can look over the NEBP and see how it’s put together, like.
[22:54:22] <konani> Yes, but they’ve pissed away their single biggest advantage by making a foolish surprise attack that, you know, failed horribly.
[22:54:50] <guri> Here, here!
02[22:54:56] * Guri takes another swig of the rum
01[22:56:24] <nativejovian> [Mulue] Mister Pereresad, you realize that the reason I’m in command of this vessel is that I’m one of the foremost authorities on spelljamming technology in all of Mokupoe?
[22:56:54] <konani> Probably not. Guri’s not exactly fluent in the practical arts.
[22:57:32] <guri> Are you? Nifty! I had no idea. As the priest says. I’m here to keep your crew as happily tipsy as I can. I’m an athoriatity on making alcohol, you see.
[22:57:59] <guri> I’m technicaicallly just here to brew.
01[22:58:42] <nativejovian> [Mulue] And you ended up on the adventuring staff? …I suppose that’s not as surprising as it seems.
[22:59:10] <konani> Well, think of it this way: Would you want him billeted as a cook?
[22:59:15] <guri> They said go kill things. So we did.
01[23:03:11] <nativejovian> [Mulue] In any case, thank you for the report. I’d advise you to find someplace out of the way until we can assign you a permanent billet. We’ll be launching against as soon as we’ve confirmed that the ship is fit to sail.
[23:03:46] <guri> Ah — I thought we didn’t have sails?
[23:04:04] <konani> Not quite the way I’d’ve phrased the pun, but…yeah.
02[23:04:22] * Guri shrugs
01[23:04:43] <nativejovian> [Mulue] We don’t, but a lot of nautical terminology has carried over for lack of better words to use.
[23:05:20] <guri> Ah, I see, I see. Double, s’a matter a’fact.
01[23:09:02] <nativejovian> The party’s been given their orders! Roach leads them off the bridge, since neither Guri nor Konani are the sort to respond to military courtesy. Because when the captain ‘advises’ you to go somewhere else, what they’re really saying is ’I’m done with you for now, so get the hell out of my way’.
02[23:09:49] * Guri follows Roach. Because…why not?
01[23:10:48] <nativejovian> Looks like you’ve got a bit of time to kill, party. Feel like wandering to any part of the ship in particular?
02[23:11:22] * Guri is in that happy place where he doesn’t much care
02[23:11:57] * Konani could stand a proper tour!
01[23:16:15] <nativejovian> Roach, having actually been on the ship before, agrees to show you around! Honestly, it’s put together like most ships you’ve served on, with the exception of the two large “engine rooms” that each hold one of the ship’s pair of ether engines. You’re not allowed in there at the moment, as the engineers are currently swarming over them making sure that nothing has been damaged.
01[23:21:26] <nativejovian> The engine rooms are located in the two odd protrusions on either side of the ship, though as it turns out they only take up the back section of these pylons. The front sections are largely empty, apparently intended for supply storage on long-term trips.
02[23:21:53] * Guri grows more and more impressed with the ship the more he sees of it.
[23:22:51] <konani> Lots of storage means lots of room for booze. And swag we steal from the Gleeks.
[23:28:01] <konani> Because proper heroes drown in swag they purloin from their villainous adversaries.
[23:29:46] <guri> You bet!
[23:29:58] <guri> Plenty of room for the drink to mature, too.
[23:30:48] <konani> Going to need a better bar, though.
[23:31:17] <guri> Can probably be arranged. Especially once the crew agrees.
01[23:34:16] <nativejovian> While you’re idly poking around, you hear a sudden shout in your direction. The source turns out to be a stocky man with dark hair and tan skin. He’s wearing an officer’s uniform much like the captain’s and the XO’s, but rather than being immaculate like the bridge crew’s, his is wrinkled and stained in places, and worn rather more casually, half-unbuttoned and mostly-untucked.
01[23:34:41] <nativejovian> [Officer?] Hey! What are you idiots standing around yapping for?
[23:35:00] <guri> Because no one has told us where the room for standing around and yapping is.
[23:35:12] <guri> Though I generally prefer to sit when I yap.
01[23:36:08] <nativejovian> [Officer?] Smartass, is it? Well – hey, is that Roach? Oh. You’re not my crew, then, hm?
01[23:36:14] <nativejovian> [Pakeliku] Hi, Chief!
01[23:36:19] <nativejovian> [Chief] Shut up, Roach.
[23:36:51] <guri> We seem to be tasked with keeping Roach alive.
01[23:38:16] <nativejovian> [Chief] Oh, well. Good luck with that.
01[23:40:21] <nativejovian> [Chief] Name’s Muloke. Chief Engineer on the Whiteangel. It’s my job to keep this thing in one piece and going where the captain wants her. It’d be easier if she didn’t manage to piss off people before we even start our maiden voyage.
[23:42:20] <guri> Oh, that wasn’t her. That was tricksy elves from another planet.
01[23:46:16] <nativejovian> [Muloke] No, those are the people she pissed off. Apparently. They don’t always tell me these things right away. Why do I need to know anything? All I do is fix stuff they break.
[23:50:00] <guri> I know the feeling. I was sent here to be the brewmaster. Instead, I find myself fighting strange Elven infiltrators.
Session Time: Sun Nov 08 00:00:00 2015
01[00:06:13] <nativejovian> [Muloke] Oh, that was you guys? – hey, wait, does that mean that thing lashed to the hatch on the top deck is yours, too? You know that it can’t stay there, right? First time we maneuver hard, it’ll be ripped free. You guys go up and bring it back in here, we’ll open the loading bay for you and then lash it down until we can come up with something more permanent.
01[00:06:48] <nativejovian> [Muloke] Then I’ll see about getting you some quarters. I hear things were pretty rough out there for a while, you could probably use a break.
[00:09:16] <guri> Yeah, that’s ours. And, hey, if there’s a better place to store it, my friend will be happy to move it, I’m sure. But it doesn’t take all of us.
02[00:09:24] * Guri hiccups
01[00:12:12] <nativejovian> And so ends the party’s first great adventure! They’ve stopped some elven shenanigans, stolen an enemy ship, and hooked back up with the Whiteangel. Not bad for a day’s work! Now they’re set for a good rest. Which is good, as they’ve pretty much gotten their asses kicked and used up all their spells for the day.
01[00:12:44] <nativejovian> But what happens now? What lies in store for the future of our heroes? Find out…. next time! On Spelljammer™!
01[00:12:51] <nativejovian> Session end.

Session 005

Spelljammer Custom NativeJovian NativeJovian